Thoughts

Daily Post #58-59: To Parenthood

I had a bad case of cold yesterday. I had a runny nose, my eyes were watering and my nose was so stuffy I was not able to function properly the rest of the day. I woke up perfectly fine yesterday but I think the weird Melbourne weather got to me. It had been sunny for the last couple of weeks but Melbourne decided to mess up the weather again and yesterday had been so chilly and windy.

My cold worsened as the day progressed so much so that I just cooked up some instant noodles when I got home. Feeling that putting some vegetables would make it lesser of an evil, I put some  cabbage strips in the soup as well. The hot soup was pure bliss! I felt a little bit better after downing a bowl of it. I normally can’t finish a packet of instant noodles in one meal but I kept coming back and refilling my bowl that I was able to finish the whole thing. I did really feel that my energy is depleted that I just ate my heart out.

After I was done eating, I sat on the couch and tried to read a book but since nothing was registering to me, I dropped it and just decided to lie down on the couch, put a blanket on top of me and watch TV shows away. ♥

Aaron had been messaging me links of Manila-based online shops selling pregnancy, post-pregnancy and baby items that day. I think he did realize that there’s only a month left before he comes back here again and less than 3 months before the baby comes! I was just so out of it that day that I was only able to check out the links that he had shared after I took a nap.

I find it so amusing that most of our talks are now concentrated on the baby. If it is not anticipation for his arrival, it would most likely be how crazily strong his movements are now compared to before. We are just so caught up with the novelty of all of these that all we ever talk about is him! Nothing else! And I think this is so normal. I also try to share as much as I can with Aaron so that he would not be left out on how Bibibam‘s doing and his developments. Whenever I’m experiencing hard kicks and strong movements from our baby, I would try to take a video of him and send it to Aaron. If I am not able to, I’d just try to describe it to Aaron as vividly as I could for him to get the idea.

This is just a nerve-wracking and exciting situation to be in for both of us - knowing that months from now we will be transitioning from just a married couple to parents. It feels so surreal and I think it will become more surreal as we get closer and closer to that day. Add to it the fact that both of our families are not based here so I know that we had to step up to the plate and prepare ourselves to do this alone. I had been hearing a lot of positive things about the postnatal care that we will be getting from the midwives and how they will guide us and teach us things that we should do for our soon-to-be newborn and I am very much banking on that. And if ever we would be needing the advice and know-how’s of our families, I know that we could always just count on technology to bridge the distance between us. Anyway, I know we can do this!

Daily Post #54-55: Laziness

Laziness. When I’ve become pregnant, I’ve been so lazy during weekends that I usually just choose to stay in the house. Yes, I still go out but only if I go to my yoga classes, attend my driving lessons, go to mass and do my grocery shopping. Other than that, I just choose to stay at home, cook my food, do a little bit of writing, do some household chores and read my piling stack of books that I’ve either bought or borrowed from the library.

The moment I set foot back in our house after I’ve done all of my outside obligations and chores, I usually feel so tired and in dire need of a nap. Whenever I let myself indulge in a “quick nap” immediately after I’ve gotten home, the nap usually stretches beyond how long I intended for it to be. The nap becomes a full-blown sleep which interestingly makes me even lazier and in turn gives me more reason to just stay on the couch and continue lying there until God knows when.

That is why before I give myself the license to lie on the couch, I finish first all the writing that needed to be done and reading that I wanted to do. I still do try to be productive so as not have that feeling of regret or guilt when I decide to allow myself to succumb to laziness’ luring.

Now, I am trying to remember if I’ve been like this even when I was younger or only after I’ve become pregnant. It’s hard to tell now. I do know that I am a home-body but I do remember that I do get excited and pumped up whenever I am about to go experience something new. Whenever weekend is about to approach, I always see to it that I stay updated with new restaurant openings or know what events are on around Manila that time so that I could go and check them out. This is surely not something naturally lazy people would do, right?

Also when I’ve set foot here in Australia, I didn’t let a week pass by without chasing after novelty - may it be dining in a new restaurant, taking a different route or just exploring. Was it just because I am in a new place and now that the novelty is starting to wear off I’ve already reverted to my old ways? Was this really my old way or am I just in a phase where I have been changed in one way or another by my pregnancy. Much like the concept of having a baby brain where in my brain is not functioning to its normal potential just because I have a baby inside of me.

Anyway, I do think that this is not the time for risk-taking and exerting much effort. If my body needed to be lazy so that I could feel recharged and could function better then I’ll give it to my body to do so. The fact that I am pregnant and my body is undergoing a lot of changes right now to accommodate another life is already work in itself. It is just saddening to see that sometimes the hard work my body is doing right now is not apparent to other people, and sometimes to myself. Yes, I do feel frustrated and guilty at times for not being that productive, for not being able to do what I wanted to do, for not being bolder than I should be but I have to always, always remember now that this is not the time to push myself to the limits. It is not only myself now that I should look after. I always have to be mindful now of the repercussions of my actions to not only me but most importantly towards my baby’s health and wellbeing for whatever it is that I am feeling, I know my baby is feeling it too.

For now, I’ll just ride the waves and let him grow happily, steadily and healthily in my belly until it is time for him to come out to this world.

Daily Post #53: Typical

While I was on my way home from work, a thought hit me. This is not the first time that the thought entered my mind.

Is this all there is to life?

You wake up, go to work, go on to do your work, come home, cook your dinner, relax a little bit then sleep. The next day, you wake up and do the same thing all over again. There may be diversions on some days but generally, I think everyone’s life is a similar version of that. If it is that monotonous, what keeps us on moving and sucking up the mundane?

Sense of purpose. You may be doing it for yourself, for another person, for a cause. Regardless, you are doing it for a reason. A reason that is important to you. Maybe you would like to improve, to gain some experience that will take you to your next goal, to feed your family, to feed yourself, to reach your lifelong dreams or to achieve a vision that could possibly help the community and eventually effecting a change in the world however small it may be. A sense of purpose is what differentiates us from a robot or a zombie.

Maybe the monotonous day-to-day activities are necessary. Maybe we need to suck up the mundane if we are to achieve something great. Maybe this is part of being human. As long as you do not lose your sense of purpose and as long as you keep being mindful of what you do, I think there is nothing wrong with the familiar and typical.

Daily Post #28: From Commute to Cars

One of the things that I truly loved when I first came here in Australia is the efficiency of the public transport system. It is a huge leap from what I was used to back in the Philippines. The commute here is so quiet and very stress-free that I actually look forward to it. Commute time is not an idle time for me as I can do a lot of things like read a book, catch a power nap or write something.

Last December, I got a job in a company in which I was required to commute, more or less, 2 to 3 hours a day. My routine includes catching either a bus or tram going to the train station, riding the train from one station to another, catching again a bus from that train station to a bus stop near my work place and doing a 15-minute walk from there until I reach my destination. Since the conditions are more favorable here than in the Philippines, the 2-hour commute here is nothing to me.

I was able to gain some friends in the workplace. Though I had a Filipino workmate who was more than happy to pick me up and drop me off at the nearest train station everyday, there is this Vietnamese girl who was so kind she was more than willing to go out of the way and drop me off at my place.

To be continued...

From Commute to Cars (2/2)