Establishing A Daily Rhythm

One of the best things we did as a family is to establish a strong and dependable rhythm in our household. We do not want to be strict with our daily flow thus we adhered to a rhythm and not a schedule.

Our days felt a bit of a mishmash before. I also noticed that it also affected Kimi in some way. Mealtimes, naptime and bedtime were all happening in irregular times of the day and most of the time there is a struggle for us to get him to eat and sleep. I longed for a sense of regularity, for those days when I know what time of the day will he nap so that we can also get the downtime that we need to fill our cups. I wanted to also introduce something that makes sense to him. That is when I found rhythm.

Having a daily rhythm breathes in regularity to our day. Having a rhythm is not the same as having a schedule. A rhythm is not set into stone and can be changed as we see fit for our family. It is just there to serve as a guide on what a typical day on the household will look like. It is there to inform everyone especially the young child what he can expect during the day. Toddlers and young children have a strong sense of order which is why introducing a rhythm in their day would make them feel more secured.

I set out our rhythm around a few strong anchors such as mealtimes (breakfast, lunch, snacktimes and dinner), an afternoon nap, bedtime and potty times. After this, I filled out the rest of our days with activities that we usually do during the day.

One of the things that I learned in the Waldorf philosophy is the concept of breathing-in and breathing-out phases. A breathing-in phase is a period of time when you do an activity with your child and does require you to be present with him. It can be playing together, learning together, reading a book with him, eating together or any activity that would require your attention. A breathing-out phase is a period of time when he runs around and explores his environment on his own. It can be in the form of playing independently, watching ants in the balcony, flipping through pages of a book, drawing, playing an app or any activity that would not require much of your attention. During this phase, you would have an opportunity to fill your cup. The idea is to consecutively introduce a breathing-out activity after a breathing-in activity to establish a dependable pattern. Our child needs regular connection with us for them to fill their cup. The more that their cup is filled, the more that they can go and explore their environment on their own, the more that they can be independent.

I built and completed our rhythm around this idea as it made so much sense for our family.

I wanted also to involve Kimi in the process. To do this, I placed a visual flowchart* near his work table so that he can easily access it and refer to it by himself throughout the day.

Some of the apparent benefits that it had for us is that it made our day calmer and easier especially for Kimi. He is becoming more independent each day as he usually refers to the chart to help him navigate through his day. Naptime has been more regular. Even if he wakes up later in the day, he would still nap at the same time everyday. Power struggles has been reduced. As an example, last night at past 9 PM, Kimi wanted to paint but I was already tired. So instead of saying no, I placed the “painting/craft time” routine card on the chart with him standing beside me and telling him that we can do it tomorrow. He happily said yes and went back to what he was doing prior. It also made preparation for walks outside easier as he knows now the steps he needed to accomplish before we can go out eg. dress up, put his socks on, get his shoes, get his hat and put on a mask.

His bedtime is still late, it is still a struggle sometimes to invite him to eat during mealtimes but I know that rhythm is not a magic formula that once done will magically make everything go right. It is a process, a continuous work-in-progress. I am just happy that it is a process that we can do as a family.

* I bought the lovely charts and daily routine cards from The Creative Sprout.