Plus and Minus

Notions about what I should be or do during my pregnancy had already been circling my mind long before I even got pregnant. I told myself that I have to be active, creative, pondering, bibliophilic, a healthy-eater when I reach that stage in my life. Though I strive to be all of those most of the time now that I have a growing baby inside me, I can tell you now that it has been rather difficult to maintain that kind of enthusiasm every single time.

My body, though it is constantly getting a good nightโ€™s rest most of the time, would still find itself tired after a full dayโ€™s work. My mind, though it knows that my body should not ingest and digest unhealthy food, like junk foods, as they are non-beneficial for me and my baby, would still let itself be defeated by the promise of a short-term gratification from my hands reaching for that bag of chips in the grocery aisle or that tub of ice-cream in the fridge. My soul, though it knows that I need the constant uplifting which could only be obtained from being immersed in a book or an atmosphere that lets me be creative, would still be side-stepped by my bodyโ€™s desire to just be stuck in the couch, immersed in front of the television, mindlessly doing series marathons that are far from active and creative but are really entertaining.

Though I feel guilty at times, I know that they are all part of being a pregnant, human being.

And though I have my faults, I know that I have my wins too that I am proud of. I have enrolled in a prenatal yoga course; I have been eating healthily almost all throughout the week and just let myself indulge when I feel the strong urge to do so; I have been researching recipes that I could cook so that I could invite variety in my diet and ingest as much nutrients that I could for me and my baby; what I lack in leisure reading I make up for reading about tips that could help me during labour so that I could have, as much as possible, a natural childbirth; I have enrolled again in a few driving lessons and on the path towards getting my drivers license; and more.

Though I have been slack at times, I know I am making the most of those other times that I have the energy to push through and do those things that I told myself I should be doing. Maybe I am not who I have expected my pregnant-self to be during this pregnancy journey so far based on my previous notions and expectations, however, I am striving to be the best pregnant-me that I can be for my baby despite some limitations and thatโ€™s whatโ€™s most important.